Strength in Struggle: 01/18/2012
Have you ever been faced with a situation and thought; this is it, I cannot handle anymore, I am on my knees, I can hardly breathe, this has to be a panic attack, God where are you?
I have! I have thrown bowls all over my kitchen, screamed at God to the top of my lungs "why are you doing this to me, why is my husband sick, how could you, a heart disease at 26, come on God, really, you are going to take him from me, we have children, do you really care," and on and on.
Guess what, it didn't get me anywhere, my husband still had the heart attack at 26, the pacer, the defibrillator, we were still a family with small children, God was still God and I was simply, well, upset that I let my emotions overcome me.
I screamed at the one person who already knew exactly what I would go through. Even though I didn't understand at the time how my husband's heart disease would drastically change my life, all I could think of was my selfish pride, my fear, all the things that had nothing to do with trusting God and everything to do with being mad at Him. Guess what? I would not be where I am at today without the going through the biggest trust battle in my life. I had to stop being mad at God long enough to trust Him. I had to stop being bitter, fearful, raging throughout the why me's and why us's to truly understand what "we" were dealing with. It hit me hard when my mother said, "Kylie you have to pull it together, your husband is lying helpless in the hospital, he cannot have you a nervous wreck, falling apart, he needs you to be strong throughout this, and he is scared." I realized that my husband was the one going through the madness of having the heart attack at age 26 and I was in more pain than him or so I thought. I was so self-involved the why me's were taking over and I had completely lost site of the fact that my husband was a lot more calm than I was.
Have you ever seen a movie or a real life event where a couple is expecting a baby and the Dad gets so worked up when she says "it's time" he jumps in the car and heads off towards the hospital before realizing he left his very pregnant, ready to deliver wife at HOME. I was so wrapped up in the moment of chaos that I totally forgot that my husband was the one who should be fearful, mad, scared, confused. I was adding a double portion of all these crazy emotions to the table, when I was supposed to be the one keeping the table from collapsing.
Jeremiah 1:5 tells us, "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb," meaning no matter what we do, say, feel, God already knows it. Nothing is a surprise to God, but he allows us to go through the worldly emotions to get to the Godly emotions. He allows us to feel fear to find forgiveness. He allows us to scream in struggle to settle in secure faith.
When you devote you words, thoughts and actions to God, when you truly think about what you are thinking about, feeling or reacting to, you are growing spiritually. When something enters your thought frame and you immediately think, "stinking thinking, no room here," you are growing. When you walk by someone in the hallway and hear them say something about someone else and you immediately think, "ewww God isn't going to be happy about that," you are producing giant size strength.
When you get to a point in your life when you realize that struggles keep you grounded in your faith, they keep your faith on the edge of the chair, they keep God right over a whisper but headed towards a scream you start to feel a sense of calmness no matter what the struggle. When you are more concerned about what God thinks about your thoughts, your actions, you are placing His heart before your own.
Listen, life is not fair, but it's not supposed to be. If life were fair would you have to work so hard in securing another resting spot? If life were so easy would you have to fight to find God in every part of our everyday life? The schools call Christmas break, a holiday break? When I was in the 3rd grade I remember that every single morning my elementary school started off the day with a prayer, the National Anthem and a moment of silence. We then went off to exercise for 10 minutes to Funky Town, but that's a different topic. So, what I am telling you is this world, the one we live in right now, is trying daily to "remove" God from our lives, so making him #1 is not going to be like going through the drive thru at Burger King, no you are going to have to place an order at Cheddars, drive there, park, get your happy rump out of your car, sorry no curb side laziness, I mean service and walk in to get your food. Get over it, running the rat race is 110% worth it to leave this disgraceful world, and head towards a land that is the "real" home of the brave, the land of the free, Heaven, where Gods name is truly honored, respected and spoken daily. Heaven, where you aren't given a stare for standing up for a commandment. Where neighbors are really neighbors, crime is nonexistent, feelings matter, forgiveness is instant.
Before you can get to this place you have to face struggles, its part of life. It's placed in your life to bounce you back on course, to keep your faith needing more and more. Struggles are not fun, they cause you pain, they cause you to search deep within yourselves for actions, repentance, hope, forgiveness, trust, patience and many more emotions. The devil plays a huge role in making us feel defeated, his mission. Gods' mission is to make you feel trust and grace in the midst of every situation you face. When we take a challenge and hide from it, run from it or find all that is bad within it, we strip away our ability to see the God in every situation.
Everything you go through can be turned around to find the glory that God has in that very moment. In the biggest, most emotional events of your life, there is God moments to be found.
A lady named Louise was flying home to see her sister whom she had not seen in 10 years. She was extremely nervous and didn't know what to expect. See a family feud had kept these two sisters from speaking and they suddenly agreed to meet. The sister flying into town got off the plane, jumped in a taxi and drove to her sister's house. When she pulled up she noticed there were many cars there and she thought, "oh a party." She walked up to the door and noticed the door was open, so she went ahead inside and called her sisters name. She was immediately greeted with a small, elderly woman that called herself Martha. Martha was a very sweet, soft spoken woman and offered for me to sit down and chat. The sister felt odd knowing she was there to reunite with her sister and didn't understand what Martha was doing here, who she was or what was going on. Martha explained that her sister had stage four breast cancer and didn't have much time left. She wanted to express these concerns to the sister before she went in to see her. Louise immediately felt sick to her stomach; she suddenly felt rage and sadness at the same time. She swallowed her emotions and went to her sister's bed. Louise kneeled down beside her sister and told her she was sorry and how much she loved her, but she didn't understand at all. Mary was very sick, she could barely talk at all, but she lifted the oxygen off her face and said three words, "I am happy." In that moment of despair Louise realized that Mary was fulfilling her final goodbyes. The fact that she had not seen her sister in 10 years hurt, but the fact that Mary thought of her, let the pride go and called her to visit meant the world. Even though they missed the last 10 years and cancer was taking her sister, Louise realized that even through this pain God was using his amazing love to pour over their lives. She was grateful that God loved her enough to make sure she got to see her sister before it was too late. The thought of losing her sister due to immature feuding poured heavily on her heart. Mary passed away within 2 hours of Louise being there and even though it was a very sad time, Louise was blessed to have gotten to see, talk to and make amends with her sister. Louise will be forever grateful for Gods amazing love that poured over their lives that cold October day.
No matter what obstacles you are facing, no matter how grief stricken, conflict oriented or deep the struggle is, God is there. All you need to remember during this time is struggles do the following things when you let God lead your life:
- Cause us to stop in our tracks and pay attention
- Turns our focus up
- Review how we handle situations
- Choose to only be concerned with the now
- Pulls us closer to God & loved ones
- Immediately stops a feud and puts all selfishness aside
- Requires patience
- Teaches us to treasure all things
- Renews our lives with Christ
Take your time, embrace what is going on. During a struggle in your life doing the following:
- Take your struggles to a higher power and jump in front of them
- Breath slow, embrace what is going on immediately
- Take a time out to evaluate your situation
- Don't react too quickly, observe first
- Place things in order of importance
- Pray
- Find the God in all areas
Take each part of the problem and break it up. Find something positive & Godly in each area. Focus your heart and mind on God.
- DON'T stress the struggle
- DON'T waste the wisdom
- DON'T gravitate from grace
You can find the God in any situation and the way you bless your own life is to make every situation a blessing from God no matter how big or small the struggle is. Find gracious and goodness in every grief.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
When the issue is too pressing and you feel like giving up, find a Christian friend that can hold you accountable for all your actions. Call them, talk to them and let them pick out the God in situations that are too cloudy for you to see through. That's what "true" friends are for, not to paint a pretty picture, but to make the picture clearer. I am happy to say, my Christian Pal, is the best gift from God I have ever received. She guides me, redirects me and throws me back on track when I derail. It's not always pretty, she doesn't always sugar coat things, but I know without a shadow of doubt the valleys that I walk through are nothing compared to the grace that God has given me in my life.
Kylie B. Davis
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