Hebrews 10:25
We should not stop gathering together with other believers, as some of you are doing. Instead, we must continue to encourage each other even more as we see the day of the Lord coming.
Romans 14:19
So let’s pursue those things which bring peace and which are good for each other.
I totally disregarded the fact that A: they are kids and they were merely playing and B: they did something that could prevent Rex from hitting the hardwood floor and getting hurt. I left dents in the situation by telling them that all they do is make messes, because even though I didn’t mean that literally, I said it. I said it loud enough for them to hear, process it in their little minds, and define it as “we are mess ups in Moms eyes.” I left that dented image in their minds and once it is there, it’s hard for a child to see that Mom didn’t really mean this for harm, she is just hard at work and we need to be more aware. Absolutely not, they need to be kids and play, laugh and make memories as children. By the time I processed what I had done to my kids, the opportunity to make it right for that moment had passed. I had failed my attempt to positively bring my kids up in their spiritual walk. There will be many more chances, but my point is this, we have to be sure that everything we say or do is reviewed on “kid terms” before we deliver them on “adult terms” because things that sound good to us as adults could possibly mend their self-image as children. The same is true when we deal with other adults.
Hebrews 3:13
Encourage each other every day while you have the opportunity. If you do this, none of you will be deceived by sin and become stubborn.
How many times do you neglect the efforts of someone and only see the negative? How many times do you fail to acknowledge the good that someone has done by only pointing out what they “haven’t” done? How many times with God do we focus on the things that aren’t yet great in our lives without giving praises for what we already have? How many times do you let your attitude over a certain situation talk for you and belittle another because they didn’t do something the way “you” would have?
I AM RAISING MY HAND TO ALL OF THESE RIGHT NOW, CAN YOU SEE MY HANDS????????
I am guilty of being a fast mouthing woman! I think too fast, I act too fast, I react too fast and I definitely speak to fast. I need to realize that my words are important and leave marks wherever I go. My words to my children and husband mean something because they love and adore me as mommy and a wife. What I say to them must be true because Mommy/Wife said it, so I had better make sure that I am saying things that God would be happy to hear and their hearts can handle. Words are deep, they leave marks and when someone comes to you and wants to show you something they are proud of, they expect a highly favored response. Don’t say “well if I had done this I would have done it differently.” The way you would have done it doesn’t matter, the fact is that they cared about your response and praise enough that they wanted to show you, so the least you can do is fake it so they take it to heart positively. Don’t let them walk away with their head held down saying, “sorry I tried.” That’s not fair, they did try and they were proud of themselves, so you should be as well. So what if it was not as good as you would have done it, get over it. Leave the situation with them feeling better than before they came to you, not down about even coming to you at all.
We have to be careful with critical and judgmental thoughts and tones within ourselves and to other people especially children. Maybe you do not have children but you have close friends and maybe they don’t do everything the same way you would, who cares! Let it go, learn that your way is not the highway, Gods way is the right way. God would never meet us at the gates of Heaven and say, “well you tried, but you didn’t do a very good job, I just don’t think you did it good enough to get in.” No God loves us and accepts us however we do things as long as they are backed by Gods word. Now that doesn’t mean go out and steal a loaf of bread because God said so, because you know he did NOT.
Colossians 3:16
Let Christ’s word with all its wisdom and richness live in you. Use psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to teach and instruct yourselves about God’s kindness. Sing to God in your hearts.
To be a Jesus follower you have to speak in the tone that Jesus would. You have to take a few seconds to scan the area of a conversation before you jump into it. No one is in control over your thoughts and actions; you have every right in the world to take 5 seconds and look over the area and then speak. Make sure every single word that comes out of your mouth is used for the good of God. I know this is hard when you get stressed out or overly worked up. I get it; the mornings are so tough for me. My husband works twelve hour shifts and right now he is on third shift, so I have three kids to get ready in the mornings and be out of the house by 7am. It’s very difficult because my daughter (the oldest) never has anything to wear, typical pre-teen stage. My older son who is 7 is always tired in the mornings and his legs hurt, his side hurts, his nose hurts, get my point. My baby is one and he sits patiently in his crib banging on the wall until I get in there to get him dressed. I feel like his banging on the wall is like a timer going off and although it’s not that loud, in my mind when I am running late it gets louder and louder. The louder it gets the more worked up I get until I just explode and start fussing at my two older children to get their butts downstairs, get in the car, don’t argue, blah blah blah. I often say things that are out of a rushed and critical spirit, not an uplifting and motivating spirit. I set the tone for their day in my actions during the morning rush. I often feel very bad about rushing them and try to make it up later, but it’s just something I find myself falling into over and over.
Proverbs 10:11
The mouth of a righteous person is a fountain of life, but the mouths of wicked people conceal violence.
So I needed to get up twenty minutes earlier, so that I had that extra time to fall back on if I should need it. I realized that saying good morning to my little angel was not such a good idea first thing (although he deserves it), because then he would have to wait for thirty minutes before I got him out of the crib, hence the beating on the wall. So I let him sleep until the last minute. I realized that picking out my daughters clothes eliminated the chaos of having nothing to wear. I realized that my son would probably still be dressing on the way to school when he is 15 years old and I should just accept he is not in any hurry to get to school. Now put on a PlayStation battle game and he would show up two hours ahead of time. Silly boys! Anyway my point is that I was the root of the rush, I saw the problem areas and instead of initially making small changes to help the situation I just screamed through them. Typical Rushed Momma! So I have to watch my tongue, understand their needs and realize that they aren’t just like me simply because they came from me. A little patience goes along way. I would rather see them smile, than to stare out the window because I hurt their feelings. It breaks my heart to see them hurt and most of the time it’s because of a quick comment I have made that I didn’t see as big at all, but was too big for their heart to handle. Yes, shame on me. I am learning there is absolutely no manual for raising children with regards to what you should and should not say! Although there are a hundred baby books on pregnancy and doing the right things with regards to toddlers, it kind of stops at that point and you are ON YOUR OWN. God doesn’t want us to just do whatever and say we are “parenting” our children; he wants us to remember the scripture when we are parenting through Christ:
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not turn away from it.
We should always remember three things; no shaming, blaming or threatening. If what we are about to say to our children, spouse or any other person shames, blames or threatens it is NOT needed in any situation. No name calling, no shrieking just because you are shocked at what your child just did in public, they are kids, quietly get down to their level and say, “this is not the way you are to behave at this moment or anytime in the future. You are being disrespectful and it is not acceptable.” Do not make a scene at that moment, it will merely reflect an embarrassment on the child and damage their self-image. If you child is out of control and you cannot let it go at the moment, then be the adult, remove the child from the situation and try again another time. Don’t reward the child with a cookie when they pitch a fit, you have just taught them an invaluable lesson of “when I want something bad enough if I act ugly enough I will get it anyways.” You will absolutely one hundred and fifty thousand percent regret that within one day, I guarantee it.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore, encourage each other and strengthen one another as you are doing.
When you approach someone picture them as a shiny bucket, just polished and just an absolute beauty. Even if they are giving off the biggest stench in the whole world, picture them remarkable. Whatever you pour into their bucket will fill them up internally. Once the bucket is full it is going to run over and what you want is for the bucket to run over with happiness and joy, while keeping the outside of the bucket flawless. You do not want to put poison in the bucket causing erosion and rust to start forming because eventually you will cause holes in the bucket. When you get holes you can hardly keep anything positive in because it always spills out. Protect every person you come in contact with even if you know them or not as God’s bucket, perfect and flawless. It is your job in that moment as you are dealing with that particular person to keep it shining & beautiful.
Isaiah 57:14
It will be said: “Build a road! Build a road! Prepare the way! Remove every obstacle in the way of my people!”
Yes that person may be already damaged from others poison, but think of it like this; each good comment slowly brings back to life part of the beautiful bucket and eventually even though there are scars the bucket can produce good fruit. The bucket will always remember the scars and can describe in detail how every scar was created, but unless you point the scar out it will continue to overflow with bursts of God’s love. The more joy you pour into the bucket the more joy it spills over. It’s hard at times to look at someone being so mean and hateful and think, there is not one shiny spot to their bucket, but remember we were all at one time a little fragile baby, sweet and someone ewe and awed over us. At one time we were the cutest baby ever, but as we started to grow not all of us were fortunate to come in contact with people who cared enough about our bucket (hearts) to keep us shining (positive). It affects you after a while, whether you realize it or not. You have to make a conscience effort to understand the pains you have received, deal with and through them with God’s help and let them go. You have to make sure that you acknowledge your own dents not by your own doings, but the reflection of someone being lost and release them to God. Only God can renew your bucket, and make your appearance seem flawless once again. Don’t think just because you are not around someone that was mean to you that you can no longer be hurt, the damage is already done. You have to pay close attention to your outer appearance and see how many rusted holes you are wearing and pray for God to diligently repair those open wounds with his amazing love. Fill the voids with God’s love; it’s the only sustainable solution.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, keep your thoughts on whatever is right or deserves praise: things that are true, honorable, fair, pure, acceptable, or commendable.
God Bless,
KD
Send all prayer request/praises to dentedbucket@charter.net
Immediate Prayer:
Prayers for Khloey today as she undergoes surgery in Boston. Pray for the doctors, Khloey, parents (Jason & Maryann) and extended family.
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